The PhD experience brings with it many uncertainties. The one thing however, that you can be fairly certain of is that things will happen along the way that you may not have accounted for. That rainy day for which you feel you have no umbrella. When these things arise, it is reassuring to know that there is some support out there – whether it be emotional assistance, or practical guidance with the work itself that is being offered.
I started my PhD in the September of 2017 with the energy and intentions that appear at the start of a new adventure. I was looking forward to immersing myself in university life and the research that came with it. I began to delve into my topic, and was lucky enough to make a couple of good friends. I had started to tackle my own personal demon of public speaking by forcing myself to take part in the three minute thesis – a much braver version of myself was beginning to emerge. It all felt like it was going rather swimmingly.
At about that time, however, it began to become clear that my father was unwell. A trip to A&E sadly confirmed this fear, and my father was diagnosed with a brain tumour which was found to be inoperable. I now found myself swimming against the rapids as the inevitable loss of my father became imminent.
At this time, I had a few options but I genuinely had no idea of which way to turn. I considered suspending my course, but I was overtaken by a need to cling to as much of my routine as was humanly possible. I seemed to disappear into some sort of vortex at about this time, and began to find it difficult to keep up with work despite my inability to distance myself from it. Becoming vaguely aware of this, I visited the health and wellbeing pages of the university website, and found leaflets that discussed bereavement and depression. In addition, I sought advice from one of the counsellors.
There was a large part of me that was apprehensive. I wasn’t sure that I was ready to talk about my thoughts and feelings, but one of the useful things that we did tackle, was how I was feeling about my PhD and the work that I needed to do – and indeed if I wished to truly remain. Talking through these practical issues began to help me to free up space in my mind to begin to deal with my other thoughts and feelings. The waters began to calm a little, and I remained at the university.
Counselling isn’t for everyone, and not necessarily for every issue. But it is a comfort to know that it is out there, and it was important for me to learn that it can take many forms. For me, being able to discuss practical issues served as a reassuring introduction to the process at this time, and I was very much encouraged to pilot the discussions. It proved to offer me the umbrella that I needed.
These sessions can be found here: https://www.coventry.ac.uk/study-at-coventry/student-support/mental-health/
There is also a Bereavement Support page: https://livecoventryac.sharepoint.com/sites/students-healthandwellbeing/SitePages/Bereavement%20Support.aspx
Lara Carballo
PhD Research Student
Institute for Future Transport and Cities